Last day of 2009

Today is the last day of 2009, another few hours more and it will be the New Year 2010.

How time flies, one decade has passed. I was just reading my diary yesterday and realized that since i graduated in 2001, so many things has actually happened. I have since learnt, experienced, grown up and become wiser. No longer am i the 21 year old girl fresh out of school. Haha... does that mean that i have grown older? Though i cannot denial that i will be approaching 30 next year, i'm glad that my build is small so still look young to some. Wonder if it is good or bad?

New year is coming and its time for me to come up with the New Year resolutions. New year resolutions are a good way to allow us to set goals for the year and of course provided that we adhere to it. I'm proud to say that my resolutions this year were all met.

Year 2010 is a new life and a new challenge to me. Hope the new year will be a good year for me. my family and friends.

A precious gift for Christmas 2009

Today is Christmas Day and also the 8th day since i came back from Tianjin...

Christmas this year is very special for me because i have a new life due to a successful kidney transplant. Though i have to be on medication forever, there are a lot more things i can eat now, water i can drink now and can go without dialysis.

阿弥陀佛. 感恩! 还有要感谢我妈妈一直陪伴着我, 照顾我, 煮给我吃 etc. Mother is a very great cook. She bought a rice cooker from Carrefour the second day we were in Tianjin when she went shopping with Patrick. And marvelously she can cook everything with the rice cooker: rice, porridge, meat, steamed fish, fried vegetable, soups etc. Of course, thanks to William who left us a humidifier, kettle and some bowls and utencils as well.

China packed food are very salty and oily. They also come in very big portions. The first day when mum and me are there, we ordered in and my god, we ordered rice, 1 vege and 1 meat but they come in 6 packets - 2 packet of rice, 2 packet of meat and 2 packet of vege. I think the portions were enough for the day's lunch, the day's dinner and following day's lunch. The vege and meat were very oily even though we said less salt and oil. Ok, once bitten twice shy, from the second day onwards, mum would cook whenever possible. And hey, maybe the ingredients in China is fresh, whatever she cook, its so delicious.

The 金钱菇 we bought at Formax Supermarket is also vey nice no matter if cooked with chicken, meat or vegetables. The apples in Tianjin is also very sweet compared to Singapore. However, after my surgery, i feel bloated most of the time and don't have much appetite, hence food don't taste as nice anymore.

We were there in Tianjin for a total of 23 days.

Departing for Tianjin on 23rd Nov 2009

I will be going over to Tianjin on 23rd Nov 2009. Since i called Dr Song 2 weeks ago and he gave me the go ahead signal that i can go over at the end of Nov, everything has been busy busy, buying air tickets and all the preparation etc.

Lucky, William is already there at the hospital and he provide us a lot of info and advice. Thanks to him. Blessings, received an email from him on wednesday (14-Nov-09) that the nurses alert him to prepare for transplant that evening. That was fst, he only waited for abt 2 weeks. I hope i am as lucky as him.

Next sunday night i will be departing for Tianjin, taking the midnight flight. Preparations are almost done but of course there's a lot of last minute things to do. Anxiety and fear are gone at this moment, too busy and just looking forward to it. Now Beijing is very cold and snowing. Hope everything goes smoothly for us. I pray...

等待是慢长的...

I went for my M clinic appointment on 7th October and got all my pre-transplant test forms from Dr Roger Tan. Thank god and blessings! He is willing to do all the tests for me. I'm so relieved that i got all the forms in hand, have been bothering about it since my plans are defined. Dr Roger Tan is really a good doctor, he supports me in my plans to go china for transplantation.

Next week i'll be doing all my tests that require fasting, then just have to wait again for the results. 等待是慢长的, 尤其是当你在期待的时侯...

Steamboat Dinner at Yumin's House

Yesterday we went to Yumin's house for steamboat dinner.

We met at Marina square with the intention to go bowling before going to buy the food. However in the end, we decided that we all don't feel like going bowling so we proceed striaght to Carrefour to buy the food. We bought mostly meatballs, cuttlefishballs, fishballs, misc. balls, pork shabu shabu, mushrooms, veges etc. Healthy and simple food. Liyan say she is on diet and on low carboh food, hence the food that we choose are all quality, low quantity food. Thank god, becasuse i also can't eat most foods an too sinful foods.

Yesmine and Yumin prepare the soup base with corn and some dried prawns. Hmm, the soup taste good and sweet, esp. after we add more food inside, the final taste is good.

This is really a homely and healthy dinner. Hope we'll have more of such gatherings in future.

New Olympus Digital Camera

Finally i bought my Digital Camera from Commex yesterday. Have been wanting to get a digital camera for a long time. One of my birthday wishlist. Quite good buy, lucky hk was with me, if not i won't know what to look out for. But its a bad experience at Commex becoz its very noisy and the sales person don't have all the time to talk and explain things to you amist the noisy background.

Model: Olympus FE-4000

12 Mega Pixels
4X Optical zoom
Wide Angle

Hopefully i can take a lot of pretty & beautiful pictures with my new digital camera.

Received a gift from my candidate

Last friday, Sophia Lee signed the offer with Singtel for the 6 months contract Business Executive position. Was quite happy for her because she is already 44 yrs old but her job experience was quite good with 20 yrs in YSL.

After signing the contract with Singtel, she came to my office to sign our contract terms, she said that the job is a new challenge for her because the industry and work is totally different from what she has done before. My surprise is she actually bought a box of fruit tarts and gave it to me. This was the first time that i have candidate giving me a gift after i successsfully place them a job. Previously, it was always my colleague and boss who received treats from candidates and i shared the treats with them, but this is the first time that i recived it myself and i get to share with them. I feel a sense of achievement and joy.

Buffet Steamboat Dinner at Hotpot Culture

Yesterday, i meet up with Wenhua, Baozhu and Jinglan to celebrate Wenhua's birthday. Wenhua suggest having dinner at Hotpot culture (Marina Square). http://www.hotpotculture.com/
Ok, sounds new and interesting to me and feedback from Wenhua and Baozhu seems very good. I'm looking forward...

The buffet include a mini-steamboat for each person and you get to select and order from a variety of side dishes to go with your steamboat. There are few kinds of broth to choose from for your steamboat:- Chicken Broth, Hot & Spicy Broth - a.k.a "Tom Yum", Fish Broth, Kimchi Broth & Herbal Broth. I like the concept because as each have own steamboat, we can choose the favors we like and take ingredients based on own preferences. The side dishes are also good. I like the sweet & sour fish and chicken meatballs.

The buffet also come with chocolate fondue. The best part is the fondue is refillable and you can get to eat as much as you like. It comes with fruits, marshmellow and ice-cream. Yummy :)

Everything is good, but at the end of the dinner, we were so stuffed. Boazhu neven feel like vommitting. That is the problem with having buffets, its good and we eat and eat. While eating, you won't feel anything but after that you'll feel so guility and sinful. Should really stop going for buffets and avoid overeating.

"How can I give up a fight? Its not my way"

Yesterday i saw on Sunday Times a devastating news. Dr William Tan was dianosed with chronic lymphocytic cancer (http://www.trevvy.com/sgboyx/index.php?showtopic=31361).

Life is full of adversity and unexpected events. Dr William Tan is someone that i respect and admire. Being wheelchair bound since the age of 2 yrs old, he is now a doctor and marathon runnner. He managed to overcome his disability and lived a full life of hope and will. As compared to him, my illness seems so small and minor.

I wish the best for him and will pray for him.

人生无常

昨天 (26 June2009)一代歌手Michael Jackson 因为 cardiac arrest 过世了. 他享年50岁. 人生无常, 今天不知明天会发生什么事, 我深深体会这个道理. 人生的道路还很慢长, 最重要是把握先在, 活的快活.

13 June 2009

It has been 2 years 9 days since i first started my dialysis. Can't really relay my feelings for this 2 years. I have been through denial to acceptance to adaptance and finally hope and belief that Miracles will happen. It was hard in the beginning, struggling with leg cramps and restricted food & water intake. Now i have grown used to the limitation, how to cope with dialysis & the changes occuring with my body. This is scary as well coz i'm afriad that i'll slowly forget the feeling of being healthy and normal.

10 June 2009
Went to MEH to see Dr Pary. I had hope that he will give me good news that my kidneys still have hope and that miracle will happen and i will recover. However, he gave me the same answer as every doctor. Kidney is non-reversible and the only alternative for me is transplant. Although it is not the first time i heard this, my heart sinks when i hear this.

Dr Pary is the last hope i pinned on before slapping myself back to reality. I told myself when i started on dialysis that i am only going to give myself 2 years for miracle to happen and recover. But it has not happened. I saw the recent blood test results when Dr Roger Tan came the next day and there is not much improvement on the creatinine level. I could feel another round of cold water splashing on me. Double slap in the face!! Maybe its time that i should really plan for transplantation and not wait any longer. I really hope to get back to a normal and healthy life again.

但是真的恨不甘心, i have been learning qigong since Feb this year and i feel that it has helped me a lot in overall health. To be exact, today is the 121 days since i started. Am i too impatient? Afterall only 4 months since i started. The goal i set for myself is to recover in 6 months. There are evidence of people who have recovered before from cancer and other chronic problems by practing Qigong. I had believed that i will be one of them. But seeing no improvements in my creatininine level make me question myself. Dilemma now, dunno how i should proceed...

12 May 2009

Wow, time flies when you are not thinking of it. Now is May 2009. Two months has passed since my last update. Life goes on as usual but i'm just too busy or lazy to write my blog...

11 May 2009: A day that i will remember for some time. Yesterday 3 of my candidates start work with my client. Wow! Never been so lucky before. I bought 4D (ibet) on 1105, dunno whether will strike or not, waiting for wednesday. Also, on 11 May, i went to SGH for my Angioplasty surgery (ballooning) on the hand to broadened up the vein for dialysis as the dialysis centre say there is stenosis (whatever). Its painful during the surgery, my hand feel like elephant hand when the surgeon is pushing and inserting the balloon, dunno how he do it, cannot see but can feel. The whole surgery last for 2 hours. I'm blessed ! Only one balloon is needed. Hopefully dialysis can be more smooth and clearance can be better in future.

9 May 2009: Vesak Day. My first Vesak day as a Buddhist. Went to Telok Kurau 三宝堂 and a temple in Geylang with 三婶. Experience the procedure of 浴佛.

I've been practicing Qigong for abt 3 months now. Seems so long already but only 3 months. Feel better mentally and overall. Very fancinated with Qigong and mediation at the moment, i will go and find some books and read up more abt it. Recent blood test is not out yet, dunno how is it. As shifu says, "Don't think about it, it will happen."

Why Worry

21 March 2009

At this period, business has not been very good for us due to the Economic recession. This recession is quite scary... Besides seeing people and contacts being retrenched, we also saw companies freezing headcounts and not being able to recruit. Even if some are still recruiting, its an Employer's market now. However there are still some people who don't realized the impact of the economic downturn and still behave irresponsible or not commited to work requirements or some who still think that its ok to resign and find another new job easily. My advice to these people is: Wise up ! The number of orders coming in can be easily counted with five or less fingers. And these orders are so hard to fill as the selection process is so high nowadays.

As i told Lily, sometimes we are like working in a stock market, one minute high hope and another minute, the hope is dashed by some reasons. Lily also said something which her ex-colleague told her before. Doing sales is like giving birth to a baby. You have to make sure that the baby is well developed for birth. And its not the end after birth, you still have to feed it and nurture it to growth. Well, our line in recruitment is the same. Not only must we send candidates for interview, make sure that the job fit is there. And on confirmation and selected, we must do regular follow-up to check that he/she is ok with job or help in any problem that he/she has. Sometimes, feedback and problems come from clients and we must help to resolve it.

I think i'm beginning to enjoy my job... In this job, i get to meet with different people and things that i never believed exists before. Some though frustrating makes you want to laugh at its absurdity. Trained my patience and tolerance as well. I also loved the flexibility that my boss offers me.

I have also started learning Qigong since 13 Feb 2009. After practicing for a few weeks, i find that it is really good for my overall health and well-being. I'm hopeful and positive that it could cure me of my kidney failure. Cross my fingers? Its a chance and i'm willing to give it a try. Afterall, its my last alternative before deciding to go for transplant. Transplant also had its side effects, why not try to heal by myself. Life is funny, within 2 years, it seems that life had turned so differently for me. In the past, i will never thought that i will want to pick up Qigong - a slow exercise that seems to suit only old people.

Just completed a book titled "Why Worry". Its a very good book and teaches people to live life w/o stress and worry. Somehow, reading this book helps me a lot. At this juncture, life though filled with uncertainties and difficulties seems to be happier for me now. Haha...

6 Feb 2009

Lunar New Year comes and goes in a flash.

This year, CNY has been quite rewarding for me, though its the same as previous years, going visiting to relatives house but i guess the different thing is that i treasure the ties and relationships with family & relatives more. After my Kidney illness, relatives & friends have shown me care and concern which deeply moves me. Life may be tough but knowing there are people who cares and support me gave me courage and pushes me on.

Stepping into the year of Ox somehow gave me strength and positiveness like the Ox. I somehow feel that this year will be better. Haha... maybe because i'm born in the Year of Monkey and this year is good for monkeys.

After all the indulging in new year goodies last week, i should start to cut down and watch my diet. Gan ba teh!!

Arranging flowers for CNY 2009 (Year of the Ox)

Yesterday i went to the tanjong pagar market and bought flowers with the intention to arrange for CNY. Alas, so many flowers and hard to choose which one and how many to buy. I spent a long time at the market, then i saw one of the pre-arranged flowers with red and yellow chrysantheman. Ok, decided i will buy Yellow round chrysantheman with red carnations. The combination shld be quite nice. But how many to get?? Since i've learnt floral arrangement till now, i have not been putting to practice. This is the ist time that i'm doing it alone without the teacher's assistance. I tried to recall what the teacher had teach us bef and deciding what type of shape shld i arrange. But i have no clue at all !! Ok, just go according to feel, i finally decided. Anyway, if the flowers are nice, anyhow also will be nice. I finally chose all my florals and 2 "Kai Yun Zhu", total adding up to $25. Wow, didn't expect that the flowers can be so expensive, and i didn't actually choose a lot.

Today is the arranging day... I went to market with mum early in the morning to buy all the CNY food. Upon reaching home, i prepare myself to do the arrangements. After pondering the whole night esterday, i still can't figure out what arrangements to do. Again, go accordingto feel. I realized my flowers were not really enough and one of the leafs that the floral shop sold me has signs of decay (not very nice). Oh no ! Short of leaves and flowers. After spending abt 2 hours on it, the above is the outcome. I'm glad it didn't come out too bad. Well well, its a good start. Haha. Happy Ox year.

2009 - New Year, New Hope

2008 has passed us in a blink. New year, new hope, new resolutions... But wait have i achieved all my resolutions for 2008? Yes, proud to say i have except for those uncontrollable events. Oh yeah, Joyce gave us a day off on new year eve and i went to ikea to buy my writing table, something that i have wanted since beginning of 2008. Finally got it at the last day of the year. Another thing to mention which i'm grateful for is i have finally managed to change Dr Tan Han Khim for Dr Roger Tan. Thank godness. Dr Roger Tan is 3-4 better than that irresponsible HK Tan.


Was supposed to come out with my new year resolutions earlier but only had time to sit down and think abt it yesterday. Yes, i really need to think and plan. My new year resolution is to recover and to go without dialysis, i.e transplantation. I guess i'm tired of all the dialysis and needles poking in and out of me. I used to be able to see the nurses putting needles into me but now i don't know whether its fear or what, i don't dare or don't want to look anymore. And the 3 times per week schedule is affecting my personal time and family time. Sometimes i will be thinking how much longer do i have to go thru this or shld i put a stop and get a new beginning? The second alternative is to action and do something abt it rather than waiting. Yes, i want to be healthy and normal again. I can't let my life go pass just like that. I remembered what one of the dialysis uncle once said before: "If one can live till 100 years old, i have aleady lived more than half of my life, i don't know how much longer i can still live?" What he said strike a cord in me. If one can live till 100 yrs old, i have only lived one third of my life. I still have a long way thru.