Saturday, June 27, 2009
人生无常
昨天 (26 June2009)一代歌手Michael Jackson 因为 cardiac arrest 过世了. 他享年50岁. 人生无常, 今天不知明天会发生什么事, 我深深体会这个道理. 人生的道路还很慢长, 最重要是把握先在, 活的快活.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
13 June 2009
It has been 2 years 9 days since i first started my dialysis. Can't really relay my feelings for this 2 years. I have been through denial to acceptance to adaptance and finally hope and belief that Miracles will happen. It was hard in the beginning, struggling with leg cramps and restricted food & water intake. Now i have grown used to the limitation, how to cope with dialysis & the changes occuring with my body. This is scary as well coz i'm afriad that i'll slowly forget the feeling of being healthy and normal.
10 June 2009
Went to MEH to see Dr Pary. I had hope that he will give me good news that my kidneys still have hope and that miracle will happen and i will recover. However, he gave me the same answer as every doctor. Kidney is non-reversible and the only alternative for me is transplant. Although it is not the first time i heard this, my heart sinks when i hear this.
Dr Pary is the last hope i pinned on before slapping myself back to reality. I told myself when i started on dialysis that i am only going to give myself 2 years for miracle to happen and recover. But it has not happened. I saw the recent blood test results when Dr Roger Tan came the next day and there is not much improvement on the creatinine level. I could feel another round of cold water splashing on me. Double slap in the face!! Maybe its time that i should really plan for transplantation and not wait any longer. I really hope to get back to a normal and healthy life again.
但是真的恨不甘心, i have been learning qigong since Feb this year and i feel that it has helped me a lot in overall health. To be exact, today is the 121 days since i started. Am i too impatient? Afterall only 4 months since i started. The goal i set for myself is to recover in 6 months. There are evidence of people who have recovered before from cancer and other chronic problems by practing Qigong. I had believed that i will be one of them. But seeing no improvements in my creatininine level make me question myself. Dilemma now, dunno how i should proceed...
10 June 2009
Went to MEH to see Dr Pary. I had hope that he will give me good news that my kidneys still have hope and that miracle will happen and i will recover. However, he gave me the same answer as every doctor. Kidney is non-reversible and the only alternative for me is transplant. Although it is not the first time i heard this, my heart sinks when i hear this.
Dr Pary is the last hope i pinned on before slapping myself back to reality. I told myself when i started on dialysis that i am only going to give myself 2 years for miracle to happen and recover. But it has not happened. I saw the recent blood test results when Dr Roger Tan came the next day and there is not much improvement on the creatinine level. I could feel another round of cold water splashing on me. Double slap in the face!! Maybe its time that i should really plan for transplantation and not wait any longer. I really hope to get back to a normal and healthy life again.
但是真的恨不甘心, i have been learning qigong since Feb this year and i feel that it has helped me a lot in overall health. To be exact, today is the 121 days since i started. Am i too impatient? Afterall only 4 months since i started. The goal i set for myself is to recover in 6 months. There are evidence of people who have recovered before from cancer and other chronic problems by practing Qigong. I had believed that i will be one of them. But seeing no improvements in my creatininine level make me question myself. Dilemma now, dunno how i should proceed...
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